The Big Picture

So... my ultrasound is tomorrow. Yay!!!! I'll get to see my little girl wiggling around some more which is always a blessing. She is such a beautiful baby. I got my hair cut just for the occasion. Oddly enough as I was walking around Downtown today, even with my pregnant belly visible, I'm still getting hit on by men. It's like they don't even care I'm someone's mom (which is actually somewhat creepy...). I've even had men try to ask me for dinner as soon as they find out I'm single still. I really don't know what to think of that. On one hand, I'm flattered that they still find me attractive but on the other, I'm kind of.... wondering what exactly their intentions are. I mean you get those creepy men out there. But some guys have that hero complex where they want to "save the damsel in distress" but are they going to still be attracted when they find out that I really don't need to be saved? I mean, yeah I feel lonely a lot, but I really do have things under control. I can save myself. Anywho, I had a dream the other night about my first love. It was really more like a memory of various intimate times we shared all rolled into one. I saw his eyes and that wonderful look in them he got when he was really looking at me and you could just see how he cared in his eyes. Usually a dream like that would make me sad, remembering all I've lost. But I woke up really happy and refreshed.... like maybe it is all becoming a sweet memory. Maybe... after all this time... I'm finally moving on???