Racing to the Fifth Marker (month)

Ahhhh it's the end of September and I can't believe in about 2 weeks I'll be five months along. The long awaited baby bump is present now, even with the lack of weight gain. I'm literally at the half way point. Part of me is jumping out of my skin, hardly able to wait until my precious daughter is in my arms, another part of me is thinking "oh no! I'm going to be HUGE!" While yet another part of me wants this to slow down a bit. Half way already???? Regardless, I'm struggling daily; trying to find a job, trying to connect with my friends who seem to have adopted the "out of sight out of mind" doctrine, and although they try once in awhile, I know they have their own lives and are busy with their things so I feel selfish, but I also feel very alone. I'm coming to terms that in a sense, I AM in this all alone. Nobody can understand my situation because no one I know has gone through it. I'm feeling the need to reach out and hold onto someone, anyone, but I'm grasping at air. There's no one I can lean on in such a way. This is why you are supposed to do things in a certain order, because the person you're supposed to lean on in this instance is the one you chose to be your Best Friend and Partner for the rest of your life; your husband. I don't have one of those unfortunately and the man, excuse me, the insult to the male gender I created this beautiful life with abandoned myself and our child for his own selfish needs. Unlike him, I can't just pick up my life and date as many people as I want. For one thing, I need to think about my daughter first. For another, what man my age (or any man for that matter) wants to date a pregnant woman? Especially one as young as I am??? I can't give my daughter her biological father, but then again, I can't give her ANY father. And for the next 18 plus years, she will come first. My needs are second. These are very selfish thoughts; to want to connect with people, to establish a relationship with a man, but they are present and though I try, I can't shake the desire to just BE with people. To feel loved by those around me, to feel worthwhile. Self-love and worth comes from within, but at this point I really feel just so lost and alone, I don't know what to do with myself. Lord, please give me strength.